She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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