Who wears a wallet chain?!
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
