Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
you made out with another girl for some wings
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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