I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
