it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
