where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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