I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
