would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Randomize
