you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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