was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
