Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize