All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
