I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
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she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
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I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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