it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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