U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
