is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize