whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
