Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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