He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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