i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
