a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
