Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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