i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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