no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
