Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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