It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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