I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
