Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
