Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
