Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
