i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
