I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
