the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
COCAINE IS GR8
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
