i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize