Old men and throwing up are my life now.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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