Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Terrible idea I love it