Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Too much gin, very little bucket
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
