Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
