i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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