Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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