White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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