So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
