Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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