chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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