You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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