so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
