therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Randomize
