the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
