I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I think i got beer on your cat.
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