Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
