I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
