Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
