He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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