He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
