my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
