You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
