I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
