What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I skipped work to stalk him.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize