Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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