Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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