The maid of honor just puked.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
