I puked a lego.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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