There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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