He is an equal opportunity slut.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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