so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Randomize
