Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
