she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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