no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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