R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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