You really coming over, don't trick.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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